Nothing matters
by MariaPurt
Summary: A 'what if' story back to Kashmir...


**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This is just a little 'what if' story. I remembered Irina telling Jack that she was just a prisoner in Kashmir, so, he never knew what happened to her. My guess is that she admitted spying for CIA. What would happen then?

All the characters do not belong to me:( Ahhh, what a pity.  
Again, thanks to my beta lenafan:) **Bev, thaaaaanks!!!**

Irina was lying on a table of some kind, her body still shaking after the icy shower they put her through. Her hands and feet were tied down to the sides of the table and she wore nothing but a wet robe.

Her face was as pale as the pillow that she did not have for more than two months. She knew she looked terrible, but that _didn't matter anymore_. Her bruises _did not m_atter anymore, nor did her _thirst_. She knew she'd die, but _nothing mattered anymore_.

Irina tried to regain her consciousness, remembering something that _did not matter anymore_. She remembered the life she had, the _real one _where she had a daughter and a husband.

A man approached her, taking a long look at her injured head. "Все молчишь, Деревко?" he stated.

Irina knew what was going to happen next. The man took his knife and pushed it into her left arm. She screamed, unable to move away from her torturer. Another wave of pain overwhelmed her as the man pushed the knife in her arm even harder.

"Или ты уже забыла родной язык, тварь?" He stared at the woman as the tears started down her cheeks. "Answer me," he demanded. "Did you spy for CIA?"

Irina could barely shake her head meaning no.

The man backhanded her face before he pulled his knife from her arm. She screamed again as he did it. Irina watched him leave; he was terribly angry.

"You make me problems and I hate those," he said before he shut the door.

The table Irina was laying on was now covered with her blood. She knew more was to come. She knew nothing _she'd done for her motherland mattered anymore _for them. They considered her to be a traitor, and the only thing they wanted to hear from her was that she really did spy for US government.

Irina lost consciousness falling into dreams of her _real life_.

Being Laura was the happiest years of her life. That woman died in a car accident, leaving behind her 6 year-old daughter and her loving husband. She'd thought she'd forget it all once she arrived in her motherland, but she was wrong; KGB knew about her feelings for Jack.

She'd die for him. Irina never thought of that until now. Yes, that was her choice, and now that was her responsibility so Jack never knew who and what she was. She had to die. After two months of unstoppable pain and suffering she was ready now simply to die.

The door to the room opened again and Irina heard someone coming close to her. She saw the same man carrying some equipment in his hands. She was too dizzy to even think of what that was. He smiled, anger rising in his eyes.

"This is going be hot, very hot, sweetheart!" he laughed as Irina's face froze recognizing what he had.

It was the way they put the metal parts together, and they were going to use it on her. Derevko knew KGB used it to interrogate foreign spies; that was the old torture she'd read about when she was a student in the KGB Academy.

She never thought she'd feel it herself.

"Нет, пожалуйста!" She moaned still looking at the item.

"You've a terrible accent, you know." He placed the equipment near her leg. Irina was shaking hard, knowing the pain would be terrible.

"I… I did spy," she cried, her words barely understandable.

"What?" The man was surprised, but not shocked.

"I spied for both US and USSR," and saying this, she closed her eyes waiting for the man to kill her. She never actually betrayed her country, and would never do that in the future. But now that didn't matter any more; she thought she'd had enough.

He was still smiling, still preparing the equipment to use on her.

"Please, I did… don't…" she paused realizing the drugs they injected her with had their effect now, so she had no strength to speak anymore, feeling even more pain in her already battered body.

The last thing she was aware of was the agonizing pain as the man aimed the welding torch to her leg. She screamed and then there was nothing, but darkness, so sweet and tender. That might be heaven or hell, but it was definitely the place she wanted to be in forever. _Feeling nothing_.

Eventually, it was her blood coming from her nose that awoke Irina. She was lying on some huge armchair, covered with a dark blanket. It was quite dark around her, but she was not in Kashmir prison any longer. Then she froze realizing she was in a plane. She still felt dizzy and her body still hurt. Irina slowly moved her one arm, then the other one: they were cuffed, but not too tight. Remembering what happened last, she felt sick to her stomach. Suddenly, someone came in. Interrogator, she thought to herself.

"How are you feeling, Irina?" the voice was so familiar, she could bet the speaker was…

"Jack?"

He stood beside her, barely smiling. "Good you're okay, Irina." He touched her bruised cheek tenderly.

"Jack, I must confess…" she did not have any strength to speak yet. "I must."

"Shhhh… Don't. I know who you are. Irina Derevko, USSR spy, and traitor."

"Is this a nightmare? I'm still in Kashmir, right?" She was crying now.

"No" he said. "You will be in the United States when we land."

"But how… I was…"

"Irina, the USSR traded you for the one of their agents they really wanted to rescue from the CIA. They actually didn't think you'd survive, so it didn't seem to be a risk to them." He stared at her. "I realized they extracted you from US against your will and once I saw what… what they did to you." Jack was nervous, hesitating not knowing what else to say. "What happened? Why did they…Irina!" Jack Bristow wanted to trust her; he wanted to believe she was still his lovely Laura in spite of everything.

"What next?" She asked slowly.

"Don't really know. But you are safe now. I mean, I…"

"That can't be true, Jack. CIA won't forgive me, nor will it let me go."

He kissed her forehead, knowing she'd experience more pain as he did. "The CIA knows you've fooled your KGB superiors…that you've given them wrong Intel. Welcome back, Irina" he smiled.

"Laura. My name is still Laura, sweetheart" she smiled too, realizing she was now going home.

**The end **

**-------------------------------------------------**

TRANLATIONS

Все молчишь - Vse molchish - still silent

Или ты уже забыла родной язык, тварь? - Yly ty uje zabyla rodnoy yazik, tvar? - Or, have you forgotten your native language, animal?

Нет, пожалуйста! - Nyet, pojaluysta! - No, please


End file.
